


new beginning

by snjeguljica33



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-13 22:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15375225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snjeguljica33/pseuds/snjeguljica33
Summary: some days are good, some days are bad, some days even worse... but you need someone you can trust, that's all...all thanks to jonjo :)





	1. Chapter 1

Harvey thought the worst thing that had happened in his life was letting Mike move to Seattle. He was wrong. The separation had only become more painful over time.

Mike and he heard from each other occasionally. Mike seemed satisfied, and Harvey tried to hide, as best as he knew how, all of his longing and how much it hurt that Mike had chosen Rachel.

Harvey knew that the calls would eventually thin out, and in the end they would stop. Distance and business made their mark. Mike was in a new place creating a new life and Harvey respected that.  
The love he felt for Mike couldn't be taken away by anyone else. Most of all because no one knew.

He returned to his old habits, of the time before Mike and, of course, what he was best at, his job.   
Occasionally, he would bring a woman home who he'd picked up in a bar, but after insignificant sex he would throw her out.

In spite of all, time's passage was inevitable. The year turned into two... then three, and Harvey simply got used to living with the pain.

Still he couldn't imagine working with anyone like he had with Mike. He changed his associates frequently, finding flaws in them all. How could he not, they weren't Mike.  
Nor could he imagine himself in any serious relationship. He knew it was stupid, because Mike and he had never been in that kind of a relationship.

He knew Donna remained in touch with Rachel, but he never asked what was going on, and she did not say anything, obviously because she knew him very well.

*

Now she stood in the doorway of his office, and he immediately saw that something was very wrong. Harvey stood up and helped her sit down.   
"What happened?" he asked, scared of what the answer would be.   
She only managed to squeeze out one word, "Rachel..." Harvey's heart sank, "What about Rachel? Donna?"   
Donna didn't reply, just sat and cried quietly, so Harvey brought her water and waited.

He had never seen her like this. He held her hand, but didn't know what else to do.  
It seemed to last forever, but eventually Donna calmed down and finally explained, "Rachel died... during childbirth."

Birth? Harvey's brain refused to process what he'd heard. Mike and Rachel were expecting a baby? What? Why didn't he know?  
But how could he have known when he hadn't asked about them in a long time.

Somehow he got it together, "Donna, listen, I'll book us a flight. Mike needs us."  
Donna looked at him in wonder, and just nodded. Harvey knew he must be strong for both of them, and most of all for Mike.

*

The plane landed in the morning of the following day. The day was somber and only exacerbated by the whole sad situation. They immediately caught a taxi to the hospital where Mike and the baby were staying.

Harvey caught sight of Mike for the first time in three years. He didn't look good, but Harvey thought it wasn't just because of the current situation. Mike seemed to grow old overnight. Harvey knew him and it seemed that Mike wasn't in as good a place as he'd claimed.

When Donna hugged him, he just stood still and closed his eyes, and then, as he looked at him, Harvey saw a spark blur in Mike's eyes.  
"Mike, I'm so sorry," Harvey said, wrapping him tight around his shoulders. "How is the child?"   
Mike knew Harvey's thinking. All the sadness and pain that he was currently experiencing was terrible, but Harvey wanted to let him know that he wasn't alone. And with that, Mike finally felt some comfort.

Mike took them to the window of the room where the babies were and Harvey instantly knew which one was Mike's son.   
"He's beautiful," Harvey whispered and pressed Mike's hand, and Mike leaned into him as if he was a drowning man.  
"She wanted to give him the name Gabriel," Mike said softly, without looking away from the child.  
Harvey stood beside him in silence and hoped that his being there helped, at least a little.

Although they knew Rachel's parents were also there, Harvey and Donna decided to stay for the few days until after the funeral.

*

Even with all the persuasion and requests, Mike didn't give in but insisted he was staying there with the child. He didn't even want Rachel's parents to help.  
Harvey and Donna could do nothing other than return to NY. Harvey knew it was exactly what would happen. Mike always tried to meet everybody's expectations and didn't easily give up.

Nevertheless, Harvey was dying of worry and fear that something would happen to them. Somehow he felt guilty because of Rachel's death, because he was not there, as if something had changed. He knew that was stupid and there was no basis for it, but he couldn't help himself.  
Despite everything he had to go back to work, and he had to believe in Mike’s word. That was the only thing he could do. Believe in Mike.

The only thing that comforted him was that Mike had promised to regularly contact him, and Harvey waited on every opportunity he got to hear that Mike and the child had survived one more day.

*

He could sense in Mike's voice which days were bad and exactly how much strength and will he'd had to invest to keep himself and Gabriel above water. Mike claimed courage and determination, but Harvey knew him better.

Two weeks had passed and Harvey could no longer handle it. He booked a weekend flight and picked up the most basic stuff he needed for a few days away. Maybe Mike would be angry with him, but he didn't care. He needed to see how things were really going out there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks to jonjo :)

Harvey tried to suppress his fears and misgivings. He wasn't important, he had come to help Mike, even if it was against his will.

When he rang the doorbell of the apartment, he felt something was strange. In fact, it was ghostly quiet, considering that there was a child in the apartment. Harvey felt a big knot forming in his stomach.   
When Mike didn't open after the second ring, Harvey grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. The apartment wasn't locked, he pushed the door open slowly and entered. He put his suitcase down near the entrance and quietly went to search the apartment.

Finally he let out the breath he'd been holding when he saw the scene in front of him. On the couch in the living room, Mike and the baby are sleeping. Probably both of them exhausted from who knows what had happened since they'd come home.

Harvey unconsciously laughed. The scene was wonderful. Mike still looked exhausted and skinny, but at least the color had returned to his cheeks.

Gabriel has visibly advanced, even over this short time. On the other hand, the apartment looked like a bomb had exploded in it, so Harvey started to collect things, trying not to wake them up.

When Mike opened his eyes and saw Harvey he just laughed, as if he'd been expecting to see him there.  
Carefully he lowered the child into the crib and stood up to say hello.  
"Is everything OK?" Harvey asked, though he could see that it wasn't, but he wanted to hear Mike say it.

They sat at his table and Mike told him how they had been since they left the hospital and came home. It had been difficult, but Mike had taken leave, for now. Gabriel needed him and he'd decided to dedicate all his time to the child.

Soon Harvey could see firsthand how hard it was. Gabriel was so small, but he had an incredibly strong voice. Sometimes it wasn't enough to change him and feed him. Sometimes he cried for hours without reason. Babies did that, Harvey knew, but until now it had only been in theory.

As the days passed, they didn't need to adjust much and Harvey felt comfortable around the small child.  
Little by little, it became easier and easier to take him in hand and feed or dress him. Even something he hadn't done for a long time, putting him on his chest and singing to him quietly, felt normal.

Mike never asked anything, he was just grateful that Harvey was there caring for both of them.  
Harvey didn't mention NY. He didn't press Mike, nor did he mention his return. He was just there for them and enjoyed it more every new day.

They never talked about Rachel either. Harvey thought life had been really cruel to Mike and he didn't understand why. Mike was the best person he knew. It was not fair. Still, maybe Gabriel was his reward for all of it.

He enjoyed watching Mike and Gabriel together. There was so much love and affection between them. Though he was small, Gabriel knew exactly who his father was.

Harvey hadn't noticed that it had been almost a month since he'd arrived. The three of them were totally integrated and most importantly he noticed that Mike looked much better than when he'd come.

Gabriel slowly caught the rhythm and every day he slept more and more regularly. It gave them more time to talk or to eat in silence, even sometimes to watch some movie or just sleep longer.

Even at night, the baby slept longer so they slept better too. Harvey never said anything but somehow all three of them had been sleeping in Mike's bedroom.

When everything finally slotted into place, Mike's nightmares begin. The adrenaline he'd needed to cope alone was gone and Mike's brain subconsciously returned to focus on the skipful of regret he felt over Rachel.

Harvey always woke him up and calmed him down after a nightmare, enough for him to return to the next few hours of sleep. It was a long process and Harvey thought it was time to talk or to suggest Mike got professional help.

Harvey called Donna that afternoon to find out what had been going on at work and to tell her he'd be staying for a while longer.

That evening, when the child was asleep, Harvey brought them beer and decided to say what was bothering him. "Mike, I know that all this has been difficult for you, but there's one thing you'll have to deal with. Maybe it's time?"  
Mike knew exactly what he was saying, "I know..." he said, with a vague expression on his face. "I haven't been talking about her, but it's not because of what you think..." Mike looked at the floor, embarrassed.  
"Mike..." Harvey came and sat beside him, "you know you can tell me anything."  
Mike paused for a few moments as if searching for the right words, "I'm guilty," he said quietly, Harvey barely understood.  
"What for?" Harvey didn't even notice when he took his hand.  
"I didn't love her... never as much as I loved you..." Mike said and began to cry.  
"Mike, look at me, please..." Harvey put his palm on Mike's wet cheek. "No matter what, she did not die because of that. Do you hear me? Simply put, awful, unlucky things happen. Nobody is guilty."

Mike continued to sob quietly while Harvey hugged him. They stayed silent for a long time, until Harvey realized that Mike was asleep.   
He carried him to bed, kissed his forehead and covered him up.  
That night, Mike sleept calmly for the first time in ages and Harvey knew that everything would turn out fine.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big thanks to my beta jonjo :)

Harvey woke up and his mouth curled into a smile when his eyes fell on Mike and the baby who was sleeping between them.

Half a year had passed, and Harvey was still here. In the meantime, a lot of things had happened and he still could not believe his life had changed so completely, in countless ways and of course for the better. He could never have imagined this.

As time passed, it was clear to everyone that Harvey would not return to NY. Over time they got used to the idea, and little by little Harvey transfered all his clients to Louis. 

Harvey didn't react immediately after their conversation about Rachel. Of course he'd heard Mike say he loved him, but he wanted to be sure. He was worried that it was just the result of Mike's intensified emotions because of the current situation. So he stayed, and waited.

As Gabriel grew, the affection between them increased. They were close enough, but when Mike realized that Harvey wasn't going to leave, he relaxed completely.

Harvey noticed that Mike was laughing more, getting used to his interaction with the baby, and was slowly healing.

They even visited Rachel's parents on several occasions. Mike realized he'd made a mistake, of course they too had the right to see their grandson.  
At first the Zane's were surprised that Harvey was living with Mike and Gabriel, but they saw how happy Mike and the child were around him, and accepted it. Their grandson was well and although their daughter was gone, they were sure that she, more than anything, would have wanted both of them to be happy.

Harvey had never thought his life would bring him to this place. He'd lived in NY all his life and had more than a successful career. But now with Mike and Gabriel he realized he felt more content than ever before.

*

The days went smoothly and Harvey thought it was time for him to find a new job seeing as he had already moved there. It was not a matter of money as much as the excitement and challenges that a new job could bring him.

Gabe had been restless in the last couple of days, and although it seemed to be due to the him teething, one night he had really a high temperature. Worse than that, Mike was feeling ill too, as if both of them had caught the same virus. Harvey tried everything he could remember, but in the end, he took the baby to the ER. 

Happily there was nothing seriously wrong with Gabriel, Harvey collected the drugs prescribed for the baby and soon they were on their way home. When Gabe fell asleep, Harvey helped Mike take a shower and eat something before putting him back to bed as well.  
He watched over them almost all night, hoping he wouldn't get sick too.

Mike had coughed all night and wriggled so that his sheets were wrapped around him. He woke up and saw that it was largely day. His throat was sore and he still had a temperature, but he felt a little better. He slowly untangled himself and got up. He wandered into the living room and fould Harvey as he slept on the couch with the child in his arms.

He watched them for a while with feeling only gentleness and gratitude. This man had brought him back to life so many times.  
Although he still felt weak, Mike went to the bathroom washed and changed. Feeling refreshed he returned and slowly picked up Gabriel and put him in his crib.  
Then came back and lay down next to Harvey. Harvey opened his eyes, laughed and pulled him closer, then fell asleep again. This was a new level of intimacy, but obviously it didn't worry either of them.

When they woke up they could hear Gabriel crying. Harvey got up and let Mike rest a little longer. He changed and fed the baby who quietened down and Harvey took him back with him into the living room. 

He squeezed in next to Mike and the for the first time Harvey realized that the three of them had become a family.


End file.
